Addis Browne Podcast Script
Get to know Addis Browne:
Follow Addis on Instagram: @ayebrowne
Support Roots Collective: @rootscollectivelnk
Learn more about Roots Collective here and book an appointment!
Parenting and Community Resources:
Parenting Across Color Lines, @colorlineslincoln
Podcast References:
1011 Now #BlackOut Article
1011 Facebook Post
Addis’s Instagram post about white people whitewashing Black folks to be complementary
Credits:
Music: Garden by Spazz Cardigan
Show notes and transcription: Gabriella Parsons
Audio mastering: Samuel Segrist
This podcast was produced and edited by Kat Wiese with help from her studio assistant and friend, Kossi Kouakou.
Intro:
My name is Katharen Wiese and you are listening to the Black IDs podcast: a mini series exploring who we are, why we are, how we are.
[music fades in]
Katharen Wiese: This series is a part of my broader artistic practice as a visual artist. I started interviewing folks who I am depicting as a way to bring agency back to the subjects represented in my work. I am tired of seeing Black figures used as political propaganda or objects and so this series is a way of refocusing on individual experiences and expressions among Black Diasporic people instead of generalizations.
Kat: All of the interviews in this podcast correspond directly with art I am generating from these conversations and the relationships I have with the people themselves. Work from the series will be in my first large scale solo show at Kiechel Fine Art in Lincoln, Nebraska on Friday, April 1, 2022. I would love to see you there! If you want to get a sneak peek of some things I am working on for the show and photographs of the folks from the podcast, you can follow me on Instagram at @katharen.wiese. My first name is spelled K-A-T-H-A-R-E-N, last name W-I-E-S-E. You can also find my handle, website (katwiese.com) and transcripts for the podcast in the show notes.
Kat: I am so excited to share a conversation I had with Addis Browne. Addis is the owner of local salon @rootscollectivelnk and a Curl Enthusiast and Specialist, but the best way to learn about her is from her, so let’s jump right in.
Addis Browne: [1:45] Yeah, so my name is Addis Browne. And I am a mother, wife, business owner here in Lincoln, and hairstylist. So there's a lot of things that can define who I am.
Kat: And you give me a little list of like five things that were important to you, as you're thinking about how you define yourself. And when you were talking earlier, you mentioned relationships. And so I liked that your first one was spirituality, but more specifically, like your spirituality as it relates to your relationship with God, with yourself and with other people. And so I had some questions that are sort of related, but certainly feel free to just go on whatever journey you want to take me on. I'm curious about how has your spiritual background shaped the way you understood yourself in the world growing up? So have you always been a spiritual person? Or has that been something that's more recent for you?
Addis: [2:38] I think I came into this world, a very spiritual person. But you know, I was adopted when I was six years old from Ethiopia. So I don't really have a good memory of much before I came here. And then when I came here to Lincoln, I grew up very Christian, my parents were, you know, this white, middle class, Christian, all American. And I have two mentally handicapped brothers that are my parents, biological kids. And then my sister's adopted as well from Kansas, and she's mixed race. So we're really diverse and interesting family in a lot of ways. But I feel like that Christian values and was the real foundation of who we were and how we related to the world. So from an early sense, I had a very strong hope in God and thinking, not everything that happens is for the good. And, you know, me, coming from the other side of the world to Lincoln, Nebraska was the God's purpose and, and I truly believe that as a kid, and I believed it as an adult. And I still believe that now, you know, I feel like, maybe my idea of who got is this changed, or my religion is not something I was labeled anymore. But ultimately, I feel like God has shown itself in so many ways. And just knowing that everything that's led me to where I am today, there's just been like a sovereign touch to everything.
Kat: [4:15] That makes me want to like jump around, because you also, I don't think we should jump around because I still have questions on this topic. But thinking about this whole idea of what does it mean to live a life with purpose, and just watching you do what you do, and washing my head, and all the haircuts and stuff? I'm like, this girl totally living her purpose. And like, it's awesome, just to witness. But yeah, you talked a little bit about how your faith has or your understanding of your faith has sort of evolved. And I think that that's pretty much true. You grew up as a Christian. I did as well. And I still identify with my faith. But how has your perspective or like relationship with your Christianity changed over your life?
Addis: [4:58] I would say In my early 20s, I grew up going to a private Christian school all 12 years and was like very active in the church. I was like a youth group leader and a worship leader. And I wrote worship music, I was just very into the Christian version of Jesus and God and a woman's place in that in the church, you know, in like a Christian setting. So then I turned 19, or 20. And I kind of got out into the world and out from my parents. And I was oooh, like, what's all this? You know? And so I think I had a few years of just like, dabbling, and just just living and not really being conscious of what Christian bubble I used to live in. I think in those few, like, younger, 20s years, before I had my daughter. I was 25 when I got pregnant, or when I had her. I think religious kids need to have a moment where they just just live and kind of figure out not necessarily where they are in their spirituality, but just kind of gaining some life skills outside of like, a bubble of religion. So when I had Samara, I remember, my dad was like, you know, when you have kids, it's really important that you have some sort of spiritual connection, because you have to pass on to them. And I knew he kind of meant you need to go back to church, and you need to, you know, like, you need to keep reading your Bible, and you need to do this, but I was kind of like, you know, I'm not, I need to figure out what I want to teach my kids, I need to figure out what values, what kind of a lifestyle really rings true to me. Because I want it to be authentic for my kids, I don't want to force them to go to church or force them to be in youth group or whatever, you know? As a mom, I have learned so much about nurturing and the feminine and the life that we can give. And I think I've gotten to know different or more of God in that sense to just knowing that like, growing up very Christian, I had a very masculine sense of who God is. And so once I, you know, kind of went off and started discovering, and living and experiencing, I feel like I was connecting to that feminine side of God.
Kat: [7:40] You're talking about connecting with an understanding of God that was feminine, as a result of having a baby and being a mom.
Addis: [7:48] Kind of tapping into the feminine, of who God is, and then starting to see God as like a whole picture. And not necessarily the, you know, the white patriarchal version of who the westernized culture thinks God is. So that's been really groundbreaking for me. And then I would say, now, I'm kind of in a place of culturally understanding who God is too. And how, you know, the divine relates to us as humans, and how I feel like for me, that purpose, and everything I do really has the vertical connections. God is everywhere, and not just some being in heaven, that's like sitting on a throne and raining from up there. My faith has really evolved. And I know it'll always continue to be that way. But I feel like I'm in a really strong place of connecting. I'm almost 33. So like, connecting to who God is now, in my life, you know.
Kat: [8:56] That kind of brings me to my next question, which is, how does your spirituality manifest itself in your daily life? Or does it or do you think of it like that?
Addis: [9:06] I think even when I don't know, or I'm not paying attention, or I'm not aware, I feel like God is always there. And I get little signs of knowing that God's there. So in my conversations, that is one thing I love about doing haircuts, there are I have eight to 10 conversations with different people and hearing their stories that their perspective or their, you know, background, it's just like, oh my gosh, I can just hear the diverse and uniqueness in God and that's how I relate to those conversations and then my meaning and purpose and like what I'm doing. So yeah, I feel like I really sense sense that in my conversations throughout the day, for sure.
Kat: [9:55] That's so wholesome. And I think that's like, I don't know, I think that has a lot to do with just the success of your business too is that it feels like you're very present when you're doing my hair. I feel like I'm connecting, rather than just having some person absent mindedly telling me I need to straighten my hair. There's like a real presence and sensitivity you bring to your work that I think is really cool. So I just want to say that.
Addis: [10:22] Thanks so much. Thank you.
Kat: [10:24] Yeah, it's absolutely true. Okay, cool. Is there anything else you would like to add about your spirituality? I know, I think I was interested in what you were saying about a cultural understanding of God, because I think in the Midwest, too, we can talk about that for an hour like that could be its own topic is this way that we have understood God in this, you know, predominantly white community as a god that relates really well to a certain type of person? Do you know what I mean? It doesn't really as well to other types of people. So there's a lot of culture wrapped up in our understanding of who God is and how he manifests himself. So I don't know if you want to just touch on that.
Addis: [11:02] Yeah, that is exactly true. And I feel like for me, trying to also understand where I fit, you know, growing up in a predominantly white community, and like a white family, but also connecting with my Ethiopian DNA and like my culture that I was once part of. And then just reading the Bible and feeling more of a connection with Jesus, being Hebrew and being Middle Eastern and being Black, it was always just that question of, you know, these white these, like, framed pictures of Jesus looking like, he's German or European. I feel like, that just doesn't make sense. And I've always been told, at the height of Christianity in like, the 90s and early 2000s, it was all about evangelizing. I don't know, if you remember, like, dare to share, but like going door to door and being like, we, Jesus is going to save you and I'm going to be I'm going to be the one to let you know. So you don't have to go to hell, you know? Man, I look back at that now and think that is so invasive, and like, so it's just not right, like we have, as human beings, I just don't think we have any answers when it comes to trying to define God. And any, you know, cultural understanding of who they think God is makes sense to them because of where they're at, like the whole context, you know? So telling someone who's Buddhist or Hindu or believes in Islam, that you need to believe in this Jesus no longer resonates with me. And I don't feel like Jesus would have been that way either. So that'd be like my last little thing on the my spiritual journeys, in conversations with all different types of people all day long. And in my experience in life, I just have been realizing that we do not put God in a box. And that's like, the number one rule God transcends everything that we know. And any religion can connect with who they think their divine is, you know, and ultimately, we all connect on that. And that's what brings us all together, right?
Kat: [13:29] Oh, that's so good. And I think for me, like the narrative that's so toxic, wrapped up in some of this Midwest understanding of Christianity is like you, Jesus is constantly out there detached from you. And you have to change. You have to do all of these things to be in relationship with Jesus. And while it's true, and God calls us to change, the reality is like no matter where you are in life, like you have access to God. And I think like, that's what I'm hearing you say, so?
Addis: [14:03] Yeah, yeah. Amen.
Kat: [14:07] Okay, this next topic, I'm really, really interested in the topic of adoption, and in how that shapes, particularly people of color, are coming from these families. And I know, I have friends who are adopted, other than yourself who are like African American. And everyone has a very different relationship with being adopted. And I think as you had said, at the beginning, that you feel you're here, and you're supposed to be here, and you feel good about that. So you said adoption and finding grounding in your story. And so the first question is like, what is your adoption story? Or like, how would you define that story?
Addis: [14:46] I was adopted when I was six years old, from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. And I basically flew over here by myself and was, you know, met my whole family met a whole group at that time, I didn't know they're my family, but like, white people, and this was like, the only white people I remember seeing in Ethiopia were Mormon missionaries. I don't remember if I knew what was happening, or not that I was like, getting adopted that this was going to be my new family. I remember having this idea of I was going to have a white house and a white picket fence, it was going to smell like cookies, and everything was going to be so clean. And luckily, my mom was like a total, a total clean freak, I still remember our house smelling like that orange dial soap when I walked in there, for the first time, it was just clean. But my parents, my sister, my aunts, and uncles, my grandparents, everyone came Omaha airport to meet me. And I got off the plane and pretending that I was sleeping, because I was just like, overwhelmed. It was like a, like a possum playing dead. You know, it's just like, I don't know what to do with this. Um, so my mom said, it took about a month before I even was speaking to them, before I even like, acknowledge that, you know, they were speaking to me. And she said, I was sitting by the stereo, and I would just I brought over a tape. So I was listening to Ethiopian music for like, the first month, every day, sitting in the corner, listening to music, and I just think, and I'm now really trying to connect with how was six year old Addis? How was she when she came here, you know, and I'm going to therapy. And I'm, I'm kind of just now tapping into that, because I've, through my whole life, just have this intuitive understanding. I'm here for a purpose. I've always had just this optimistic, positive attitude. And that's just who I am. And so I've always been like, I'm so grateful for my family here. I'm grateful for my family and Ethiopia that they chose to give me up, you know, I don't have all the details. I don't think all the details are necessary. But it brought me to here and I'm forever grateful for that. My adoption story is positive and very good, because it was but also because that's how I choose to feel about it. My sister was adopted from Kansas, and she was adopted at like three days old. There was a closed adoption straight from the hospital. My parents picked her up later on, in her early 20s, wanting to reconnect with her family, with her parents, and neither of them wanted anything to do with her. And I feel like she doesn't really know her identity. She doesn't know why. And her story. So I and we grew up talking about that. She could see my go out is has pictures and videos and a family that calls on holidays, and my Ethiopian family always just trying to kind of stay in touch with me. So I definitely respect and honor that people have such different feelings about adoption, like adoptees, people that have been adopted, I just think that's okay for all of us to have our feelings, because it's all very, really valid, you know.
Kat: [18:20] Thank you for sharing that. I'm also thinking about six year old Addis not talking for a month and listening to Ethiopian news every day, and I just get served, that whole situation would have felt, and then to like, think about it, 33 years old process that now would feel that's a lot.
Addis: [18:40] It really is you know, and I, you know, I've been talking with my mom a bit more about it, too. And it's like just thinking about cuz my mom was, I think 33 or 34, when she adopted me. And she already had adopted, you know, my parents adopted my sister and and they already had two severely handicapped boys. So they already had a lot on their plate. And then to think, why did you want to adopt one more person? And why did you want to adopt someone from Africa, you know? And so, it's pretty cool that now as an adult, and as a mom, I get to have that conversation with my mom and see how much strength she had to be able and want to take on that, like, no one. She just felt like she felt like her family wasn't complete yet, you know, when she felt like, I don't know why Ethiopia, it was just it was an easy country at the time to adopt from and oh, yeah, they, they didn't have to travel to Ethiopia and stay there for a few weeks to like, get to know me. And they couldn't do that because of my brothers. Ethiopia was a country that that worked with their life. I think a lot of adopted, kids can have negative feelings for their adoptive families, even if they're they were loved and taken care of. But I've also feel like I'm learning now, in having conversations with my mom, I have empathy and more of an understanding from her perspective too. Not like she couldn't have kids, and she wanted more kids. And she felt like, my sister really wanted a sister, it was just almost like all the puzzle pieces fell together. And she truly felt like, they did their best to try to keep my culture relevant to me, they brought in other Ethiopian friends to come and speak to me, even though I didn't want to speak to them. I think I think it's really cool to to look back as an adult and see, thank gosh, that must have been so overwhelming for my mom and for my dad as well, how they have loved and they have just provided for me just like they would, of course, their biological kids. So that relationship between the kid and their adoptive parents can be so tense. And I totally get why there would be so many different emotions there. But for me that understanding and love that I have with my parents is because we're communicating now. And just talking about well, how did you feel? And then how did I feel? You know?
Kat: [18:44] Yeah, it's so true for families period to go back every so often to do that. So what was that? Like? What did that all mean then? I also think about this the amount of intentionality it takes for white parents to raise people of color, adopting kids of color, and then figuring out what does it mean for me to love you? What does it mean for me to show you a world where you're represented, where your culture is valued, where you have equal opportunities? That's a big challenge, to have the amount of empathy and education to provide a life that affirms the like humanity, for tunity, etc, of kids of color. And so, how far did good intentions go wasn't enough for you just thinking about your own story? Can you just talk a little bit about that and what you had what you wish you had. That kind of thing.
Addis: [22:18] So I was adopted in 1994, there just wasn't social media. And there was not the internet, though my parents 30 years ago had the kind of resources that we do now to be able to really understand what it takes to adopt a kid from another culture. I'm just going to speak with my parents, I think they truly did their the best they had with what they had. And even bringing in someone to Lincoln, Nebraska, where there's not a lot of you know, if it was like Washington, DC, or like Seattle, where there's even Kansas City, a lot of Ethiopians maybe would have been a lot easier for them to have that connection for me. But they truly, they did what they could. What I wish now that I would have had, at the same time I really, I really didn't want it as a kid. You know, it's like, I, I wish I had more representation, just of Black women looking and living different than whatever stereotype that I thought in my head. Yeah, I think being in Lincoln Christian and being like, literally, I think there was like five minorities or five, not white people there in the whole school, but I loved it. My parents were like, you should go to East, you would thrive there, you know, they wanted me to go to a public school. And I was I was just so content, and I was thriving at Lincoln Christian and loving it. So even though I didn't have that kind of representation, even though I didn't have that at that time, I think even if they would have tried to get me to be more culturally connected. I don't think I was interested. Because at that time, I was interested in just trying to fit in and be what I saw. You know?
Kat: [24:05] That's super interesting, because everyone's different. And everyone needs to see a different level of representation. I really think that's true. I was just listening to an interview my friend had talking about their experience in the public school system. And being in IB and AP classes, going for regular classes or AP classes, where there's diversity and then like the higher up in these educational systems you go, the less kids of color their work, and they were like, Yeah, at all. Like, I can't, can't be here because I can't stand that I'm the only person like me here. And, and you on other hand, you're like, I, I just I want to fit in. I don't, I don't know if I it's like sometimes you're not even taught to care about that, or you don't even it's just like not even something you think about, you know, and everyone has a different sort of awareness of that need to see yourself as a different different times for different people.
Addis: [25:01] Yeah, that's just kind of how it is right? In my 20s, I needed to start seeing some representation, I, there was Instagram, and there was Facebook. And even for me, it's just I know that I, I help represent another type of Black woman that I didn't have, or my daughter or any other Black girl. So I just, I just couldn't imagine it being really any different because of where I was being in Lincoln, Nebraska, I know that we're just not diverse. So, you know, it's like my, my parents would have had to really be not just intentional, but go go out of their way, and way out of their way, because it's not like they didn't have friends of color are those things. So, back to what you said, you know, everyone just kind of needs that representation. Everyone needs it. And then I feel like you'll get it. Because it'll, it'll come to us when we need it.
Kat: Just looking at your social media, and some of the things you've said. And I think it all kind of speaks to the same topic of being a person of color sort of immersed in white spaces throughout your life. You talk about this sentiment of you are the whitest black person I know, like white people saying that to you. And I have gotten that virtually, like, literally every every black person I'm friends with in Nebraska, I've heard them say shit that has happened for them. I hate it, but can you tell us about why you hate it?
Addis: Yeah, for a long time, I didn't think that phrase was wrong. You know, I think I was just kind of like, oh, maybe I am the right person, you know. And so it didn't it. I don't think I was aware of like, how messed up that was to say to somebody until just a few years ago, just thinking like, I had other people defining who I was, as a Black woman rather than as a person, but a Black woman especially, rather than defining that for myself. So just seeing women of color represented, I think, Instagram and Pinterest. Really an eye awakening time was finding other women of color that I related to that were artsy, that were creatives that were strong, they had families that were married to like, a white guy, you know, just just kind of framing not how I wanted to husband relatively new. And I think with George Floyd and everything that happened last year, it's gone up a lot of uncomfortable conversations and awareness for not only white people, but I think Black people. Because I feel like I also heard that just as much from Black people, too, you know. So I think just the collective understanding that none of us need to fit any sort of stereotype, whether you're a person of color, or white, or gay or religious or not, we would have more empathy, if we could have more empathy and compassion and understanding for each other's backgrounds and stories, then we would just let each other live and not be policing each other ever about anything, you know, unless it's damaging.
Kat: [28:49] And that just got me thinking, like, I'm just thinking, so…
Addis: [28:54] We could talk forever.
Kat: [28:56] I want to hear, I love what you said in your close to about this terminology. Like you're the whitest black person I know. It means all the things that are fundamental about you are not black. And it's sort of taking your gifts and claiming them as like gifts. It's taking whatever it is that you are, and claiming it as something else. And it's like give credit to the culture imprinted to my DNA, give credit to my upbringing, give credit to the experiences I have going into stores, like, you know, give my lived experience don't give credit to your definition of who I am.
Addis: Yeah.
Kat: [29:34] I really appreciated that that post that you made. There's another post you made this. And I think this kind of relates to social media too. And I feel like in talking to you, sometimes this topic comes up social media sort of, sort of toxic, it's like, it's simultaneously this amazing vehicle that gives us the imagination, that gives us the ability to see all these things that we otherwise wouldn't experience. And that's really valuable. But at the same time, it creates all these trends. And I noticed for myself as a black artist blackness is trending, black artists trending, black businesses are trending. And there's this black renaissance of people, finally giving black businesses and black artists and black people the credit they deserve. But in the midst of that, a black man gets shot, and you have another 300 followers on Instagram, a black person gets shot, suddenly you have all this work. I have a really, like I kind of like sometimes that sort of relationship, that sort of exchange is really painful for me to think about, oh, this is what it takes. This is a sort of exchange is happening. So I would love to just hear how are you feeling with all the attention that's been brought to your business as a result of the violence last summer? And how are you feeling about that? Or processing it? Or what is your relationship to that trend?
Addis: [30:51] Yeah, that totally resonates with me. I even had a friend friend that was like, do you think people are like asking for you, or asking for you to do things or talk, or whatever, just because you are Black? She’s also Black. And I think it makes me feel kind of not maybe used in a way, but also yeah, there’s a lot of mixed feelings about it. Just even in my own Blackness and what that means to me. Because it’s trending so much and like you said, just because if you add… it used to be #supportsmallbusiness now it’s #supportblackbusiness and people are like, oh that’s so wonderful, that’s so great, it’s a hashtag. And I try don’t like it. Ultimately it makes me kind of feel like a victim, and I don’t like that mentality either. But I also feel like that’s necessarily right. Like I do feel those things, but the truth necessarily. So it’s just time that culture and society gives Black people, it’s actually way past time, right? It’s just a mixed bag of things that we’re going to get, like the responses. But ultimately it has to happen, I think we’re all just going through these awkward growing pains of “should I bring this up? Should I talk about this? Do I need to ask my Black friend for forgiveness because that one time I said this? It brought up a lot of really uncomfortable things, but at the same time, I think we have to go through that in order to just be able to live. I’m hopeful that we’ll get to a point where it’s not so sensitive, not trending, we don’t have to make a big deal out of things. [32:47] I remember when Channel 8 or one of the news channels featured us on the Black Business Tuesdays and then they had posted on their Facebook, and was like support Black Businesses on Blackout Tuesday. And then somebody commented, and there was all the comments. And someone was like, why can’t I just support the best place or the best service or the best prices, you know, whatever, and I truly had a moment where I was like yeah, why are we making such a big deal out of this, you know? And then I was like no, this is because… And I’m just going to be completely vulnerable here. I feel like because I can… Back to that question where you get asked, you know, or being told that you’re just so white for a Black person. I feel like there’s a huge part of me where I feel really privileged as a Black person because a lot of Black experiences haven’t been my own lived experience. But I feel a lot of privilege, colorism, attractiveness, the way I speak, how not course my hair is. You know? All the things. And so I think balancing that with but that is the truth, the other side of the coin, you know. I am not alone in our Blackness and I stand with everyone who has gone through that. Because it is our experience as a whole. And that’s why it kind of comes back to you can’t that away from me just because I haven’t lived it. And that doesn’t mean that I’m any less Black, you know? So supporting a Black business is, whether it’s mine or anyone else’s, any person of color, it’s important because we haven’t had that representation. We haven’t had that equal opportunity. And I think when you support any person of color’s business or their art, or their social media or whatever it is, you’re ultimately supporting change to happen. And you’re supporting representation and you’re just paving the way for us to not have to have this conversation anymore, you know? It’s going to be a long way down the road, but ultimately that’s what we all want right?
Kat: [35:24] I love that you talked about your own privilege. I love that you talked about that and that you owned that because I feel stupid for not even bringing that up as a topic. Because there’s this complicated thing that happens when you’re immersed in white spaces like many Black people are in the Midwest. It’s like you have the privilege of being in such close proximity to whiteness that you experience a lot of those privileges while simultaneously having your cultural identity be erased and devalued.
Addis: Yeah.
Kat: And so it’s this ironic sort of exchange. You can call it a privilege but it’s also, like it’s not only a privilege. It’s also sort of a violence against you. So I just want to acknowledge both of those things at the same time. But also with all this privilege that you have, it’s amazing to see you using your platform and using the social capital that you do have to make space for other people to kind of experience their own, you know, self actualization. To really get real thoughtful about it, you know what I mean. So yeah, that’s good.
Addis: [36:35] I want to add to that really quick. To my friend, to my Black friend that said do you feel like people are asking you because you’re Black, you know it’s like, ultimately yeah. But that’s it, exactly what you were saying like it’s a platform to tap into themselves. I think that was a really beautiful way of saying it, but that’s exactly right.
Kat: [37:00] Okay in an interview with Kamri Silves from 10/11. I love Kamry, I want to give a shout out to Kamry, she’s just always highlighting really cool stories. But you were talking about the things you experienced. You said people come up to you sometimes and they like can’t believe you own a business because you’re Black and you’re a woman. Like that’s how you were feeling, and you were like I don’t want my daughter to experience that. I’m just going to focus on the second question. Is there anything you experienced as a person that you hope your daughter does not experience? And furthermore, almost forget about that question. What sort of world are you trying to create for her? Or what do you want her to believe about herself that maybe you didn’t growing up?
Addis: Dang. you ask such good questions, that’s why it’s like we could go on forever. Ultimately, what Samara, as a woman, and also a Black woman to just- and it sounds so cliche because I feel like a lot of moms, like a lot of people, just want this for kids- to know their value. What I see in her is, she is just this ferocious lioness right now and strangers will come up and be like she gots this energy, you know, or people will see a picture and be like, I don’t know her but I feel like she is just so strong. I just hope she doesn’t lose that. I have been reflecting on ways in my early childhood and adolescence when I kind of gave up my power and I just lost my own standing on things - ultimately I didn’t know my value, I didn’t know what I could bring: what I could bring in a relationship, that I didn’t have to take that kind of shit, you know like all the stuff. So you know that is what I wish to instill in her, that when anyone questions anything about you, that you know where you stand you know and you can let them know, with kindness and sometimes with curse words if you need. [laughs] You let them know who you are instead of them defining it for you.
Kat: I ain’t got no questions on that. I think you just laid it out for me. So that was beautiful. [39:33] You’re a hairstylist yo. Like that’s a very intimate act, historically a very feminine act. What has doing hair taught you about being a woman, being a mother? Also this idea of the feminine. I think doing hair is a very nurturing act as well. So can you just talk about what has doing hair taught you?
Addis: [39:54] So astrology right has been trending. And I have been amazed when you get into that, how deeply this tool can be used to understand who you are. So apparently my Venus is moody and something about the God of haircutting or something. And so I feel so fulfilled in haircutting because I think it’s just part of what I was truly meant to do, and it’s in the stars. So I’m truly supposed to be doing that. But when someone talks about switching careers, or they didn’t know what they were supposed to be doing, or even friends in their 30s that are like I still don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing, I say a little prayer for myself because I truly feel fulfilled having a person sit in my chair and us exchanging stories or they feel safe in that chair to share with me something or to trust me with their hair and then leaving and 99 percent of the time they’re leaving confident and smiling and they can’t wait to come back. They text me and say five people have already complimented my hair. It’s just so fulfilling. And to be able to be in a career where there’s no ceiling on where you can take haircutting. So I feel like I am truly right where I need to be and opening up the salon has just been a dream come true. Caught you off guard there.
Kat: No you didn’t! Yeah, it’s just good. I feel that because I’ve sat in your chair so I know. I get that. I feel it. Okay this question is almost so deep that I feel like it’s unnecessary. [41:47] Like there’s no way to really capture it, but what has being a mother taught you about yourself? That might be too hard of a question, so feel free to tackle it however you want to.
Addis: [42:00] Yeah, that is a great question. What has being a mother taught me about myself? Ultimately, my inner strength. Being Samara’s mom has truly changed my life. I was, like I said, 25 when I had her and I was like a single mom basically up until I met my husband. And her dad is great and he’s in the picture and she loves him. I did a lot of it myself while working and also having my own dreams career wise of what I wanted to do. We as women aren’t meant to be going through motherhood alone. And so having a community like my mom, and her grandma, her other grandma, and my friends, and my best friend who watched her while I was working. I’m learning that there’s this nurturing and feminine side of me that is very powerful and is a warrior, you know, the whole mama bear thing. I’m very strong when it comes to being a mom. But I also just feel like having this new understanding of you know, in villages, they do this together. And the hunter gatherers are strapping babies on their backs, or one mom watches the kids while the other one does, you know, whatever she needs to. And it’s meant to be a communal experience. And I think for other moms that are really trying to do it all, and there’s this really big push of like, if you’re a mom and you’re a stay at home, and you don’t have a business, or you’re not selling lipstick or lululemon or something, then you’re failing. And I feel like we just have it so… that’s been something on my heart. We have put so much pressure on moms specifically. And I feel like a lot of moms can feel so alone because they’re just tired and they’re trying to prove on social media that their house is clean, that they have a legit business, and that their kids are thriving. But when that happens, something is always being sacrificed, and a lot of times it’s us as a person, as a mom. So that was really a roundabout way of saying that I feel like being a mom has taught me to find balance and strength, to ask for help when I need to, but also to trust myself because it just gives me this inner strength that I knew I had but motherhood has brought it out of me.
Kat: [44:57] It’s cool to hear you talk. And I think specifically like one idea that I think is really interesting and a word you used is, “power” and “strength.” And normally those words are very masculine. The word power can be super toxic, but it’s like the thing you’re defining as a strength is this act of nurturing as being this really artful, very empowering thing. So that’s probably going to be in the painting somewhere. That has to be communicated somehow. Also in talking about motherhood, I think you brought up the next topic which is community and working with other people. So I think people who are very community minded are the same people who have been in deep need of a community at one point in their life and a community showed up for them. That’s my theory, I don’t know if that’s true but I know like for me, part of why I care so much about community is I wouldn’t have achieved 90 percent of the things I’ve achieved if it wasn’t for a lot of people making miracles in my life. So what communities do you identify with and can you name a way or more that those communities have shown up for you in your life?
[46:15] Yeah, that’s beautiful. It has been really cool to be part of the women in small business. To see all of these other women, I think all of them are moms, Paper Kite and Patino, and Be Yourself, and Three Daughters. All these really cool, local businesses around here that I feel like I’ve gotten to know on a personal level. And it’s just really honest and at least with me, it’s not competitive. I was able to call a woman who owned a boutique in Omaha a month ago, and I texted her and was like hey, I just have some business questions and thoughts and stuff, could we Skype sometime and talk it out? And she was like, oh my gosh, I would love to, you know. So we spent a couple hours, and I didn’t know her that well, I just loved what she had. So just being able to have that community and to have those kinds of conversations together I think is just so important. I feel like women, that strength and empowerment, but also balanced with the feminine energy, nurturing, and the ability to accomplish so much with also having this understanding of this emotional connection that we can have with people. That’s another thing I want to instill in Samara is to be that all in one little package, you truly have it all. I mean, I love men, I love my man. [laughs] But there’s something about women that I feel truly we give life. And I love being part of that community here. And like you said, Lincoln as a whole has supported me from the time I started running a suite and having my own little business before I opened up Roots, I’ve just been able to be so busy and provide as a single mom and never question where my next paycheck was going to be. The reason I named Roots Salon Roots, was because that’s where my adoption story and all the things that encompass who I am are ultimately about community and people and relationships. And I would never, knock on wood, I feel like I couldn’t leave Lincoln because it has been home to me and it is where I’ve put down my roots. And I feel like that salon is a really beautiful picture of all these other hair stylists and I coming together and creating a space that’s both safe and energetic and has so much life to it. And we’re just having people kind of roll through there all day, you come in tired and feeling like sad and blah, and you leave just feeling like a better version of yourself.
Kat: [49:06] That’s so wholesome. I’ve overused the word wholesome a lot so I’m sorry about that.
[laughs, cross talk]
Kat: What was that?
Addis: I said I’m bringing that word back too, wholesome.
Kat: It’s a good word. It describes so many good things. My dad is a truck driver. And my dad being a white guy in Nebraska having me wanting to be an artist my whole life. The narrative was always like, you need to escape Lincoln. You need to escape Nebraska in order to fulfill your dreams. And there’s a part of me that always knew that was a lie, and now I realize that 70 percent of the things that I wanted to do at 18 I accomplished because of the people that live in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Addis: I know.
Kat: So it’s good to be here. It is the good life. It’s the weird life a little bit. It’s all of those things. But the community here is definitely is what you make of it. So that’s so true, so I’m glad you said that. [50:09] So there’s two questions left. I feel like so this whole topic of purpose is something that i think your whole being just describes all the time. So I’m like not even sure if we need to talk about it. I feel like we may have covered that. So I’m just going to give you the two questions and you just answer whichever one you feel like. One of the questions is what is something you are currently building or working on in community with others? And then the other question was, how would you define a purposeful life? And those two questions are completely different so whichever one you’re more excited about.
Addis: [50:47] I think covid kind of brought this on, of course, with everyone, their chance to finally say pause, wait. So I’m pausing on creating anything right now because I realize in order to live a purposeful life which I truly try to do everyday. Big or small, I just feel like every day needs to have light in it. The last month I have been… I didn’t realize how exhausted I was, how anxious filled and tired. I had been really hard on myself because at the beginning of covid, I had three months where I wasn’t working. Samara was out of school, covid was just starting to happen and salons got shut down. But prior to that I was like nope, I’m just going to stay at home with my daughter and I’m just going to kind of wait this out. And when I went back to work ,when we finally opened back up in June, I was like okay, you know, I had three months off, I should be feeling recharged and ready to go and I was excited to work again. And it was go, go go, it’s been go, go, go. And I kind of had a breakdown, I’m kind of coming out of it now. But it was a realization that those three months I had off were actually really scary as a business owner. I didn’t know how long we were going to be closed. I didn't know what I should do for the other stylists. And I didn’t know what the year was going to look like, so it wasn’t relaxing. In my head I was like but I had three months off, what am I complaining about? But truly it was a really heavy three months, then I went back to work and I just worked my way through the year. And my body was like, you’re done, and my mental was needing to connect with my purpose, and needing to connect with everything again. So I’m truly at this point where I’m giving myself time to just like… and honestly through my whole 20s, it was kind of that way, relationship after traumatic relationship, after getting pregnant with Samara, and then going into starting the salon, and getting married, buying this house. Life gets really crazy hectic, then you realize you gotta stop because you haven’t. And I haven’t. So my purpose filled life is just resting too, and that’s okay right? We all need it.
Kat: [53:29] Yeah, I’m glad you said that. I feel like there’s a personality type that thinks a lot about purposefulness, and I think it tends to be busy bodies, you know what I mean? And I’m one of those people, I lean into my purpose and in that I can work a ton and not even realize what that means for my mental health or my physical health, or like the other things. So I’m glad you touched on that. This has just been so fun and it’s great to know you and to be in community with you. And thank you so much for just sharing your experiences. Is there anything that you would like to add or that you would like people to know? How can people follow you, how can they get a haircut? Are you even accepting appointments? You’re so busy. [both laugh]
Addis: [54:16] Yeah, so I’m not accepting color clients anymore. I just made that announcement. Soon I’ll be accepting new clients. I think I’m just kind of in transition of moving a lot of color clients and then getting more curly… curly haircuts are my thing. So if you need a curly haircut or know other people that do, I’m your girl. And you can book on our website, which is vagaro.com/rootscollective. You can follow @rootscollectiveLNK on Instagram and my personal page is @ayebrowne with an e at the end, which I haven’t changed since I was like 19. Aye Browne… [laughs] These were incredible questions and thank you for including me in this series, I’m so honored.
[music fades in]
Closing:
I will be shooting with Addis soon, I am so excited to share those photos. I’m not sure when this episode will come out but we are going to be shooting soon and we are looking for a curly headed individual to get a free haircut. Follow Addis, her handle is in the show notes, and you can get more information about that shoot/ free haircut situation, and just more broadly about the incredible work she does. Thanks so much for listening and we’ll catch you on the next episode.
Some credits. Music for this podcast was provided by Spazz Cardigan and the song is called Garden. Show notes and transcription were provided by Gabriella Parsons. Samuel Segrist did the audio mastering for this episode. And the podcast was produced and edited by me with help from my studio assistant and friend Kossi Kouakou.
Support the podcast and my artistic practice by contributing on Patreon. You can also get a yearly gift of original prints, stickers, early access to merchandise and more. Just click the show notes and it will all be there. Thanks so much for listening and you’ll hear from me soon. [music fades out]